It’s 2 am in the morning.i was about to fall asleep.my mother came to my room.i don’t have personal room there is curtain here.i closed the curtain for privacy.my mother came out of nowhere and opened it.i closed it more than 5 times she again and again  opened it.She started abusing me i out of anger pushed her 😭..i feel so guilty that i pushed her so hard she got hit by table.I don’t want to live this life.I really want to die.nothing is going to settle down.She is still angry and roaming around here and saying to call the relatives and police on me.i did wrong but it was jmpulsive as she was not getting it.i often am trapped in suicidal thoughts but my parents i know will kill him too.and so I am not going to do anything like that.its never ending.even if i stay away this will still go on.i am forced to show love to them talk to them.All the time she is like stop doing this drama but i feel i am in severe depression too.idk if i am wrong too.Indian parents never get it.never.