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Dear Tricia:
“Why not just say that to begin with?”- by that you mean him saying that he didn’t want you to visit him during the weekend of his birthday?
If that’s what you meant, I think that “he’s struggling with his relationships with his children and having trouble at work”, and having mental health troubles.
“He tends to put his head in the sand when anything is difficult“, and recently he … lied to you because something is difficult.
“When I asked him about it he said he didn’t know why he did it“- if his head is in the sand, he can’t see (see what motivates him).
“he texted me flight details and was telling me all about his trip while he was away“- I wonder why he took the time and trouble to dress his lies with texted details and storytelling. Maybe he was afraid that you will find out the truth… has he been afraid of you in the past in any way?
anita