Dear Anonymouscat,

You said on another thread (“Emotional blackmail by Indian father against love marriage”) that you are in a similar situation like the original poster there. Here on your thread you said: “her parents won’t approve and she never gives me a timeline on when she willing to come over to me.”

Does it mean that her parents are against your relationship due to religious/cultural reasons, and they will never approve of it, no matter what? If so, and if she tends to abide by her parents’ will, then I am afraid you don’t have much prospects to be with her.

However, if there is a chance that their parents would change their mind, or that she would become more willing to stand up for herself and go against their will – then it makes sense to try and deepen the relationship. In that case, I think the first sensible step would be for you to visit her – not to expect her to visit you, because the latter will be much more difficult. If you visit her, you’ll both have the chance to see if you are compatible and decide on further steps.

Basically she would be giving up everything her family/frds to come be with me. Am I being selfish ?

If you expect her to visit you or to even move to your country without ever having met in person, and with her parents objecting – that would be asking too much of her and putting her in a very difficult situation. So yes, that might be selfish. But if you travel to visit her (provided she agrees to it), you put the pressure off of her, and are doing what you can to take the relationship to the next level. That in my eyes would be the best next step, if it’s feasible to you.