Dear Eric:

I am sorry that you are feeling so badly once again. It is too bad that you suffer so much. I wish you didn’t. I wish your life was pleasant and peaceful.

“Should I just completely stop thinking about this?“- yes, you should stop thinking about this, but can you stop thinking about it or is your thinking out of your control?

“Why do people wanna be friends with me? I offer them nothing and they have absolutely no gain to be my friend“- this is just one of your many expressions of a very low self-esteem over the years. I too had a very low self-esteem for many years. But it is not a life sentence, Eric: if you get some professional help, and some other help (a safe, positive, guided social opportunity), you can be on your way to a higher self-esteem.

“I’m embarrassed with my appearance“- I think that just as you greatly magnify your mistakes, you also greatly magnify your perceived physical “mistakes”, or faults,  and see them as much worse than they really are. (This magnification is what characterizes Body Dysmorphic Disorder which I wrote to you about in an earlier thread).  In other words, you are not as unattractive as you think you are = you are more attractive than you think you are.

A few days ago you shared about an incident at the gym: “there is this lady in the gym…  my trainer joke to them by saying that there is still a “kid” (me) here… then that lady joke by saying ‘he should hear about this topic so he can understand more about girls and not get fooled by them‘, she then joke to me by saying ‘I’m correct right?‘”- if you really were as physically unattractive as you think you are, the woman at the gym (who saw you in real life) would have thought that you will never have the opportunity to be fooled by any girl, given how you look. But she thought that you are attractive enough to be in a situation where a girl could fool you… see?

anita