Dear Dan,

You are very welcome.

So after the renovation, you did have 3 bedrooms, if I understood well? In one bedroom slept you and your wife, in another her daughter, and in the third one her son, right? (during the renovation, her son slept in the same room with the two of you, but in his own bed).

So after the third bedroom had been renovated, there was a time when her son slept separately, in his own room? Was he happy with you while you were all sleeping in the same room, but then started pulling away when he needed to move to his own room? It could be that this triggered his feeling of abandonment, and he started to complain to his mother? And it culminated by your wife proclaiming that she can’t sleep due to your snoring, and basically sent you away to another room? And this enabled her son to return to sleep with her…

Of course, it’s also possible that she really couldn’t stand your snoring any more, but was too polite to mention it earlier, not to hurt your feelings. And then in September 2021, after almost two years of being married to you and living with you, she finally had enough and told you. But it also could be that she wouldn’t have done it if her son didn’t complain about the new sleeping arrangement… Can you shed some light on that? Do you think that her son started pulling away from you when he was sent to sleep in his own room?

You said:

Also, as stated I was a bit needy and wasn’t really getting any of my needs met.

When did you start feeling first that she wasn’t meeting your needs? And what where those needs exactly, i.e. in what way did her behavior towards you change?