Dear Katrine,

I am glad that your first intimate experience was a safe and pleasant one, and that it helped you conquer your fear of intimacy.

Yes we talked a bit today and he is still a bit awkward around me compared to my female colleagues but at least we are over the first contact since the rejection.

No wonder he is still a bit awkward around you – it’s because he still likes you…

It’s still hard cuz i really really like him

I understand that, I understand that rejection hurts… But I wonder if a different approach would be helpful: instead of resenting him for not giving you what you want, or pitying yourself for the lost opportunity, maybe it would help if you viewed him with empathy, knowing that he does like you but is afraid of intimacy. If you look at him with compassion and understanding, knowing that he is similar to you, or similar to how you were before, I think it could help both of you. Your heart will stay open, while he might feel unconditional acceptance, which could have a positive effect on him.

How does that sound to you? Do you think you could view him with compassion (not pity), and be open for a friendly relationship with no romantic expectations from him?