Anita,

you asked “what something worse can it be?” regarding his behavior after I stated my boundaries to him. I think something more less what I wrote as an example but he can say it in front of other people. In work meeting etc.  I think I will respond logically saying this is work and he needs to tell me or explain something to me. Not sure what else can it be but I noticed he has been pretty aggressive and rude to people at work. I guess I need to learn to not freeze and to just respond right away. It will be difficult but I have to.

We also have a meeting to know each other better, I think it will be a restaurant or something. I do not have a good feeling about this, but who knows. Maybe he will be respectful.

“what did you say or do that is dishonest? What is it that you don’t like about yourself lately?” – I do not think it is something I did, It is the feeling that they think we are friends. I also explained today to one of the girls that we used to be friends and we grew apart, as she was saying things like “you should not let work ruin your friendship with him, you should just give yourself time and you’ll make up etc”. I think she understood. I do not want to explain myself anymore to them, further explaining would be too much, I think. But I feel like I will always be “his friend” in their eyes, as this was the case since the beginning (as I was saying he was exaggerating, omitting the fact we have not seen each other 5 years, almost bragging even).

Not sure if I explain correctly. I do not want to appear connected to him that much, I feel like I was not my own person since I started this job, often some people asking me about him and our friendship. And now that I made some friends and people like me (some of them in my team but also in other teams – girls who left to other departments- do not like him. There is a manager who likes him and new girl who had a baby in 2020 and just got back to work- she is great friends with him). It sometimes feels like a marriage – you make friends and people like you for who you are but they always remember you are married to this one guy, not very pleasant one, so they never mention him around you. I think they do not talk bad about him because they still cannot get rid of the thinking of me as his friend after all those months.

Maybe this is not true, It may be that I tell myself it looks like this while in reality it may not look that bad, since I explained. But that is the main reason I get this weird feeling lately. Feeling guilty, dishonest.