Hell Anita and Helcat

No one hit me in the past so I don’t know why I do it. Also it was not that often, mostly in my adult life. I don’t know why I’m explaining myself.

Anita

not sure how to express it. I cannot go out because it’s dark and empty outside.

i was angry because someone told me I was wrong.  And I was obsessing over people telling me “no” all the time and pointing I was wrong. I feel like I should just shut up forever because everything I say is stupid and wrong.

Thank you about reminding me about self love.

Helcat,

I wrote below what angered me. I watch tv shows every day, since I don’t go out, almost ever. I am numb. So I don’t think it would work. I like scents though. I will look for something that has a nice scent. Thank you

Hi Anita,

I did not want to come back here for some time but today I thought I would check whether you responded, and how you responded. I appreciate you responding this way and apologizing. And understanding my feelings. It was a difficult time for me and this communication helped in some way but also did not help in some way. I think I will come back but I will take a break for now. And please don’t feel bad, it’s okay. I think I am better and my girlfriend also made some changes, but not only – I AM more active and responsive to avoid situations when I agree to things I don’t want to do.

Anita,

I thought it would be clear but I will just copy this in case you want to read. It’s from my other thread ” I changed jobs/feeling scared” where you wrote: “Dear Caroline:

Yesterday, Sunday at 1:54 pm (my time) I submitted a post to you ending with: “After you do a little research emotion regulation skills (part of DBT), CBT, and assertiveness skills, let me know what you think about what you read and we can talk about it further.“.  At 2:42 pm, you submitted this post: “Okay, reading about this right now, Anita.”

TWELVE MINUTES LATER, at 2:54 pm, you submitted this post: “Anita, it sounds really good. But I wonder if it’s easy to find a quality therapist. I may need to ask on fb pages or do some research“, and EIGHT MINUTES LATER, at 3:02 pm, you submitted this post: “I found interesting article on assertiveness. There are some exercises and examples how to talk to people. I don’t know if I can do this.. I would like to. But I also feel exhausted. And I am trying since last year. I thought I changed so much already. Why is it so hard.“.

Back to what I suggested to you: I suggested that you do a little research on “emotion regulation skills (part of DBT), CBT and assertiveness skills“, and after your little research, I asked that you will let me know what you think about these three topics.

By little research, I didn’t mean a total of twenty minutes which included you typing the last 2 posts. Maybe you rushed so much because you were anxious and exhausted. You have to be calm enough to be able to patiently read and process information. ”

I hope this explains why I feel overwhelmed and discouraged.

Do you agree with the above, Caroline?

Anita, you summarized what we talked about in this thread so how can I not agree with this? I am not sure though if it’s all correct, I am a bit confused right now.

Anita,

We already bought the tickets.

Anita, do I read correctly that you got a bit irritated with me?

That seems reasonable. I should have said that. Instead I just agreed on vacation I am not excited about. Again.

Anita, it sounds really good. But I wonder if it’s easy to find a quality therapist. I may need to ask on fb pages or do some research.