Dear Caroline:

“I meant to say  that this was a ‘success’ that he learned his lesson, and all that I said to him made him no longer disrespect me“- he is not a child (and you are not his mother or caretaker), so it is not likely that you can teach him important lessons resulting in successfully forming a kind personality. His rude personality was formed way before you met him, and you can’t change it.

It is the fantasy of the child to.. fix the parents, to fix adult family members and make them change their behaviors. But just as you didn’t change your family members’ attitudes and behaviors, you will not change your work colleague’s attitudes and behaviors. The only change that is likely to happen is that he will wear you down as your hope repeatedly builds up and crumbles.

“It looks so simple how to analyze this in a heartbeat. How do you do it, if I may ask?“- communicating with thousands of members since May 2015, every day of the year, with the goal learning, makes for a valuable educational experience.

anita