Jess.  Quite often the people putting us down or holding us back do so because they measure the success in THEIR life against ours.  They will do everything in their power to make us feel incapable and small because if we grow, or reach our goals, all that is left for them to do is look in the mirror.  It isn’t uncommon for these people to also be our parents.

If they’re going out of their way to make you feel small it’s because they recognize you aren’t.  They’re terrified you’ll discover that your stronger than they are.  You are.  You got a raw deal with Ma and Pa but you got them for a reason.  Maybe you’re the one who breaks the family history your dad perpetuated.  Maybe you’re stronger than he was and can do the things he couldn’t do to change.  Maybe when you admit that to yourself you can forgive him and let him rest in peace.  Who knows?  I’m quite certain that your life is harder than some others because you’re the one out of all your friends and family uniquely equipped to handle the hardships.  That isn’t a failing of anything.  It’s a tremendous honor.  You can enter the darkness most people spend their lives hoping to avoid.  You can harvest the insights hidden in the depths and share them with those who will benefit from them but could not reach on their own.

Try this.  Anytime someone says something untrue or bad about you say yes to it.  Say yes whether you did it or didn’t, whether it’s true or false.  When people see they can’t shame you or influence how you see yourself they’ll stop.  And you’ll discover that there is nothing you’ve done or will do to feel ashamed of.  And start talking to God, whatever you consider that to be.  You’re not alone.  You never have been. Walk ten minutes everyday and ask “Why me?”  I guarantee you’ll get an answer that you neverexpected.