Dear Katrine,

I was forced from a young age to do things that was way too overwhelming for me, and I wasn’t ready for it. That’s the thing when it is mental, people expect you to go from 0-100 and if you can’t they say it’s because you don’t have the will.

You mean mental as opposed to a physical problem? I am guessing that it was different with your sister, who had a physical/neurological disease. She probably wasn’t expected to simply “heal” with the power of her will. And she wasn’t criticized that she was weak when she didn’t succeed, was she?

Am I sensing this correctly that there is wound there related to a different treatment that you and your sister received? Your problems were minimized and you were told to “just get over it”. While your sister got your parents’ full attention. And they never minimized her problems, but took them seriously, right?

People didn’t (and still to this day) respect my boundaries. Which is one of the reasons why i am so hard on myself. I was always told just to push myself harder and that it was not okay to say no because that way your anxiety wins.

I understand. Your boundaries, or rather, your limitations weren’t respected. For example, you were pushed to do a presentation at school, even if you felt horribly anxious. While your sister’s limitations were respected, I guess. Nobody pushed her to do things she wasn’t able to do.

Maybe I am reading too much into this, but perhaps there is another layer of pain – namely not receiving the same kind of care and attention as your sister, even though you too had significant issues and challenges, only of a different type?

So listening to my body and giving it rest when it needs is super important. Be my own gatekeeper and if my body is giving me the red light, people should’t try and convince me that it’s a green light.

That’s true! For example, you shouldn’t be pushing yourself to work overtime. Recently you said: I am working 11 days in a row to help pay for this treatment so not a lot of rest. That’s an example of pushing yourself too hard and not paying attention to your physical limitations. I mean, assuming that it wasn’t your supervisor who forced you to work 11 days in a row, but that it who you who chose to, to pay off your debt sooner?