Dear peace,

I think I can relate to your situation. I can’t stand being patient especially when it comes to relationships. I have had the feeling of finally showing my full self to someone, and then feeling betrayed as if they are abandoning me by focusing on something in their own life. I am a 23 year old male as well and I have had this happen with a previous relationship. He was focusing on college and no longer had time nor energy for me.

On the other hand, I also feel like I may understand her perspective. I recently “dropped” so much of my city life to move hours away to a farm to pursue new opportunities and challenge myself, as well as leaving behind many friends from art college. I reinvented myself and rediscovered my ethics, values, and personal religion. This process felt necessary to finding a new side of myself, as I believe we are relatively young and I believe the 20s are an important time to find who we are by ourselves. In the process, I hurt some of my then-close friends. I sometimes got cold and quiet because I did not want to face the reality; that I would miss them.

I bring no answers, only questions 🙂

1) Have you ever been in a position where you restructured your life and wanted to temporarily abstain from seeing your loved ones? If so, can this experience help you to understand her position now?

2) How would life be different if the relationship ends? How would life be different if it continues?

3) Can you identify what gifts the relationship gives you? (Confidence, security, purpose, etc?) Do you think it is possible to find these things within yourself?

Regardless I wish you strength and the knowledge that you are loved!

thanks,

stoutheartedmsn.w