Dear thosedays:

“if the child seeing the green grass and sun shining, he feels happy, then when he grows up, should he stop seeing the green grass and sun shining and pursue something else?“– he should stop pursuing the appearance of green grass and shining sun and instead, pursue the real green grass and shining sun.

I will use your words of less than two hours ago (in reply to another member) as an example: “If a relationship is built based on words of promises“, and you believe those promises, ex., the woman promises to make you her #1,  and based on this promise, you stick around while she insults you, ignores your messages for hours or days, etc…  then you should stop pursuing the appearances of what her promise entails (the good feelings you had as a child when you imagined that your family will finally make you #1, instead of last).

“What is the linkage between love and appreciate & respect?“- there is no love where there is no appreciation and respect. There may be feelings that appear, or feel-like love (desire, a longing) without appreciation and respect, but these desires & longings are old unmet needs that creep into the present time.

“Get married with missing pieces? Will that missing pieces reappeared or disappeared as I get older?“– most people enter adulthood with missing pieces from childhood, and all their lives they try to fill in those missing pieces, all in vain and at a great cost and a great loss. Missing pieces from childhood need to be accepted as a done-deal, and grieved.

“Thanks for the input and really appreciate it. I hope I don’t sound rebellious“- you are welcome. You are not rebellious because I am not an authority figure. I am just another member here, like you.

anita