Dear Katrine,

Yes they were all we have your back, we will help you out!

Have you actually asked them if they have spoken to him about you, and what did he say?

You said one of your work colleagues, who is currently working in another country till December, had been putting pressure on your before the yoga date. What kind of pressure was she putting? Was she encouraging you to talk to him? Did she promise she’d talk to him, but she never did?

A couple of weeks ago, that same girl invited everyone to join her for drinks after work, but she didn’t invite you. And you felt excluded and rejected:

one of the girls (the one adding pressure on me before the date) asking people to join her after work for drinks (last friday and today) but didn’t included me. Do now i feel both heartbroken and like i am slowly being cut off for some reason.

Another problem is that when your female colleagues get drunk, they “start touching him and dancing around him, and talking about him and his birthday party in a place where I can hear them when they know how I feel“.

I am sensing some insincerity on their part, specially from the colleague who is now in another country. If she promised to help you, or was encouraging you to approach him, and then a few days later didn’t invite you to go to drinks with the rest of the group – that’s insincere.

Another problem is their partying habits: it seems these girls regularly get drunk, perhaps not to the point of oblivion, but definitely to the point of not having too many inhibitions. And then they do and say things they wouldn’t when they are sober. You being there in their vicinity only hurts you.

I think you should rethink hanging out with these people (or confiding in them either). First, because they might be insincere. And second, because they make a mess of themselves when they drink, and you don’t really need to witness that…