thank you dear Anita for the reply , im sorry about your experience with your mother , i can relate to it alot .maybe thats harsh to say but my mom wasnt a happy person and she put all of us down , she turned me and my sibling against each other i dont think that was intentional but the result is all of us feel isolated and alone . have you ever thought if i can`t trust my family who i can trust then ?i noticed you used the past tense  describing your lonliness , hopefully you manage to overcome that , could you share more about your experiences?

farnaz