Dear Katrine,

He couldn’t come to the first housewarming (he had the late shift) but came to the second one, she did two so the ones that worked the first one could come as well.

That’s nice of her! It does show she is a kind person. Perhaps she even did it partly for you, to help you and the guy get together? Because she even told you (twice) to go together with your guy and another guy she invited. It seems to me she was doing her best to give you as much chance as possible to interact…

It’s good to hear you say that you don’t think that they think any less of me. I have been known for doing the Irish goodbye so I can see it makes sense to stop inviting someone to something they don’t like and always say no.

Yes I am quite certain, after everything you shared, that those girls don’t think any less of you, and that in fact they were rooting for you, and X even tried to help. It’s good that you’re seeing that you also rejected their invitation several times, or sneaked out early from a party… So they must have figured it out that it’s not your cup of tea 🙂

I react quite strongly to rejection or even perceived rejection.I really feel like people only ask me because they are trying to be polite, and not because they genuinely want to spend time with me. It has happened a lot, like there’s a part of me that want to hear them fight for me but I never believe them when they do.

Yes, you said that you don’t even like celebrating your birthday because you believe people come out of obligation/politeness, not because they really want to. That’s all a part of your rejection wound, and feeling less worthy than others. When in fact, people do appreciate you and want to be at your birthday party!

there’s a part of me that want to hear them fight for me but I never believe them when they do.

Yes, there is a child part in you who want to be so loved and desired that people fight for her! Because that’s how she would finally know that they love her and that she’s important to them…

He is still acting awkward around me the same way he did before, and at times it even made me a bit mad. Like you don’t have the right to be awkward around me if you only see me as a friend (or just a collegue), if that’s the case then you should treat me the same way you treat the other female collegues.

Exactly! That’s what I too said a few posts back – that his behavior is frustrating and how dares he stand next to you, not saying anything, when he rejected you?! Is he provoking you or what? But I hope he isn’t… He is probably genuinely confused and doesn’t know what he wants. Or he’s super afraid of intimacy.

I didn’t reply It took me some days before I even read it, and I thought that if I replied then I would make a fool of myself.

I understand… I think it’s probably for the best. Because if he wants to talk to you, he can… e.g. while standing next to you 😉 So yeah, probably replying wouldn’t really make a difference, like unfortunately your 2 message didn’t either. But please don’t feel bad about his rejection because he obviously doesn’t have it all together…