Dear Lukas:

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words and for caring about not having responded to me earlier: no need to apologize (most often, I don’t expect replies, nor do I expect timely replies), but I appreciate your sentiment.

Good to read that your parents are “real Buddhist without knowing, truly beautiful people“, and that they did not value your brother more than they valued you. I suppose the “anger, jealousy and greed” you suffer from have to do.. with the greater society in which we live.

“I will try to read into the precepts and suttas for advice on how to transform anger, jealousy and greed. Surely I will be able to find something there“-

learn religions. com/ anger and buddhism: “However much we value loving kindness, we Buddhists are still human beings, and sometimes we get angry. What does Buddhism teach about anger? Anger (including all forms of aversion) is one of the three poisons—the other two are greed (including clinging and attachment) and ignorance… despite the recognition that anger is a hindrance… not getting angry is not a realistic option. We will get angry. What then do we do with our anger?

“First, Admit You Are Angry: This may sound silly, but how many times have you met someone who clearly was angry, but who insisted he was not? For some reason, some people resist admitting to themselves that they are angry. This is not skillful. You can’t very well deal with something that you won’t admit is there. Buddhism teaches mindfulness. Being mindful of ourselves is part of that. When an unpleasant emotion or thought arises, do not suppress it, run away from it, or deny it. Instead, observe it and fully acknowledge it. Being deeply honest with yourself about yourself is essential to Buddhism.

“It’s important to understand that anger is very often (the Buddha might say always) created entirely by yourself. It didn’t come swooping out of the ether to infect you. We tend to think that anger is caused by something outside ourselves, such as other people or frustrating events… Buddhism teaches us that anger, like all mental states, is created by the mind… Most of the time, anger is self-defensive. It arises from unresolved fears or when our ego-buttons are pushed… As Buddhists, we recognize that ego, fear, and anger… are merely mental states, as such they’re ghosts, in a sense. Allowing anger to control our actions amounts to being bossed around by ghosts…

“Our practice is to cultivate Metta, a loving-kindness toward all beings that is free of selfish attachment. ‘All beings’ includes the guy who just cut you off at the exit ramp, the co-worker who takes credit for your ideas, and even someone close and trusted who betrays you. For this reason, when we become angry we must take great care not to act on our anger to hurt others. We must also take care not to hang on to our anger and give it a place to live and grow…Embrace your anger with patience and compassion for all beings, including yourself. Like all mental states, anger is temporary and eventually vanishes on its own. Paradoxically, failure to acknowledge anger often fuels its continued existence…”.

I hope that the above is helpful for you, at this point.

anita