Dear humour,

I am glad you’ve watched the video and found it useful.

The points that caught my attention are, be aware of your emotions, embrace/feel it, do not react impulsively and that we are responsible for our situations and emotions(maybe not always- but the way we react- yes).

Yes, I also liked how he explained that it’s okay to feel ALL emotions, including those we might not necessarily like, such as anger. Once we feel it, we can examine whether it is justified (whether the fault is in us or in the other party) and what to do about it. I really like the idea of anger as a signal, and that we should neither suppress it nor react impulsively on it.

In my last post I played with a thought that maybe anxiety – which you say is your go-to emotion – might be blocking and masking your healthy anger. Because you might feel uncomfortable/guilty to feel your anger. Do you think there might be some truth in it?

Currently I listen to a lot of music to let my emotions dissipate in a healthy way but have caught the negative habit of binge eating too.

I’ve suffered from an eating disorder for many years, and I know that binge eating or any other disordered eating usually serves to soothe ourselves. To soothe the pain of e.g. not feeling good enough. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I didn’t know it was a way to soothe myself. So I judged myself harshly, hating myself for being so undisciplined and such a freak. Each ED episode reinforced my belief that I was unlovable, that there was something terribly wrong with me….

Many years later, I came across the concept of the inner child, and I realized how starved for love that little girl was… but instead of love, I was giving her food – a lousy surrogate for love. Once I gave her what she really needed – love and compassion and acceptance – that’s when my ED went away. It was a gradual process, it didn’t happen overnight, but the key moment was getting in touch with my inner child and meeting my unmet emotional needs.

Now that my environment is more peaceful and me having a lot of headspace unlike in the past, i am able to think more clearly so that I can work on myself.

You’ve mentioned that you don’t live with your family any more, if I understood well (“my family has split up and we don’t get on each others’ nerves anymore“). You also mentioned in June 2017 that you might get married later that year. Would you like to share some more about that? I am confused whether you’ve split up from your family of origin or perhaps your partner? Sorry for prying – please only share more if you feel comfortable talking about it.