Dear pete:

Thank you for your good wishes!

“I’m 38 and she’s 43“- I thought she was older because she’s been a grandmother for a long time. Now I remember that she became a grandmother at a very early age.

“She’s not too busy for her other friends and makes new friends but just me she cuts out and tells me I did not do anything wrong. What do you think?“-

– I think that you did a few things that were wrong. I listed those things in my June 3, 2020 post (page 64):  1. “You told her (or messaged her) recently: ‘Whatever I did to you I am sorry‘– when you apologize, state specifically what it is that you are apologizing for. Don’t apologize for an unknown, for a whatever, 2. “You told her: ‘I just had a huge panic attack for over an hour finding out you’re on FB‘- saying this makes a person hearing it feel bad, as if she is responsible for your panic attack… There is a term to what you did in this sentence, it is called guilt-tripping”, and 3. “you keep pushing her to socialize with other people and then you get angry that she socializes with other people. Stop doing that. It is hypocritical to complain that she prefers to socialize with others over you and then push her to socialize with other people!”

You wrote in your post last night: “I don’t remember the last time she’s ever been honest with me, she just says a bunch of stuff“- too often, you haven’t been honest with her about your feedings, pete, ex.: encouraging her to socialize with others and then complaining that she does.

I know that it is very difficult to consider being wrong. It is difficult for me (and was even more difficult in the past) to consider saying and doing what’s wrong. But if you overcome this difficulty, life would be better for you.

* I am not saying that she is perfect. What I am saying is that you can become a more honest person (about how you feel) when you talk to her, if you do.

anita