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Let her go?

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  • This topic has 994 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by anita.
Viewing 5 posts - 991 through 995 (of 995 total)
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  • #410394
    anita
    Participant

    Dear pete:

    Thank you for your good wishes!

    I’m 38 and she’s 43“- I thought she was older because she’s been a grandmother for a long time. Now I remember that she became a grandmother at a very early age.

    “She’s not too busy for her other friends and makes new friends but just me she cuts out and tells me I did not do anything wrong. What do you think?“-

    – I think that you did a few things that were wrong. I listed those things in my June 3, 2020 post (page 64):  1. “You told her (or messaged her) recently: ‘Whatever I did to you I am sorry– when you apologize, state specifically what it is that you are apologizing for. Don’t apologize for an unknown, for a whatever, 2. “You told her: ‘I just had a huge panic attack for over an hour finding out you’re on FB‘- saying this makes a person hearing it feel bad, as if she is responsible for your panic attack… There is a term to what you did in this sentence, it is called guilt-tripping”, and 3. “you keep pushing her to socialize with other people and then you get angry that she socializes with other people. Stop doing that. It is hypocritical to complain that she prefers to socialize with others over you and then push her to socialize with other people!”

    You wrote in your post last night: “I don’t remember the last time she’s ever been honest with me, she just says a bunch of stuff“- too often, you haven’t been honest with her about your feedings, pete, ex.: encouraging her to socialize with others and then complaining that she does.

    I know that it is very difficult to consider being wrong. It is difficult for me (and was even more difficult in the past) to consider saying and doing what’s wrong. But if you overcome this difficulty, life would be better for you.

    * I am not saying that she is perfect. What I am saying is that you can become a more honest person (about how you feel) when you talk to her, if you do.

    anita

    #410464
    pete
    Participant

    Naw I don’t care about her anymore, she’s the past and will stay there for all I care and she’s obviously super glad to get me out of her life. As to what you said…things been bad way before that. I admit that was wrong to text that but things changed once she met that loser.  Guys don’t like their women to have male friends because they are weak. Just a casualty of that. Part of the reason why she ended the friendship was because I did not text her once for like 6 months, the other part was her feeling sad about her breakup like a year and a half ago and got emotional. But she also didn’t text me once, either…so that’s just downright pathetic.

     

    As for the ghosting stuff, definition of ghosting is to kick someone out of your life. I have not text her at all and she has not text me at all so it’s basically ghosting. It’s not my job to chase after someone that keeps disappearing. It’s literally black and white…if you never text or call your friend or ask to see them, they are not your friend. I don’t really even want friends…I am fine by myself. I just wanna do my own thing and talk to random women anywhere I am at. Right now I talk to LOTS of women at work, I got this cute korean chick I talk to and I make laugh a lot, ask her some personal questions too. Co workers say she’s my girlfriend (she isn’t). But I hit on every girl, I don’t care. People say “next week you will probably have new girls you’re talking to”. Probably true. I’m like the total opposite of this thread if you ever met me in person.

    #410496
    anita
    Participant

    Dear pete:

    Reads like you are content for now to have light, no commitment kinds of interactions with women, “random women” as you referred to them. Life is much easier this way, way easier than all the turmoil you experienced on and off for sooo very long, in regard to the woman this thread is about.

    It will soon be Christmas.. will you be giving away candy canes dressed as Santa this year?

    anita

    #410498
    pete
    Participant

    Yeah I prefer talking to any girl any time. I don’t really want a girl, I just like talking to them. I’m not lonely or anything, I don’t start feeling sad because I am single…I prefer it.

     

    I stopped the candy cane stuff a few years ago.

    #410499
    anita
    Participant

    Dear pete:

    I am single, I prefer it. I stopped the candy cane stuff a few years ago“- many men who are stuck in relationships they don’t want to be in, would say that your freedom is sweeter than candy!

    anita

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