September 19, 2016 at 9:59 pm #115672
Alright so she was confused why I lied and told me I need to tell the docs the truth and that I need to take 1 pill a day and no more. Also told me we are friends for life, told her I feel awfull for lieing to her but i'm still going to disappear for a while and try getting my shit together, she said to keep her posted every now and then. Also to see a councellor. I've disappeared from social media since last night, deactivated my facebook while I do this.September 20, 2016 at 6:45 am #115686
I like the message you texted her (your post before the most recent). And I like it that she is okay with the fact that you lied at the time but soon enough, let her know that you did. And she said she wants to be your friend for life.
You want to disappear from Facebook, social media, and from here? I hope you post here anytime, if it helps. I will be glad to reply every time you post.
And you want to not have contact with her for a while, I understand. Attend counseling soon, that is your plan as I understand it.
Good work with communicating with her! You did it soon and I think it was a good choice on your part.
anitaSeptember 20, 2016 at 10:04 am #115709
I took the leap and went to therapy and started on a spiritual path about 2 years ago when I was really struggling with feeling unworthy, guilty, lost and riddled with anxiety. At first, I felt silly and even embarrassed about going but it really really helped me.
I really wish you didn't think you were unworthy, because you aren't. Maybe you need to concentrate on dealing with that more than worrying about this girl. I know you care for her deeply, but maybe sorting out those feelings would make you feel more confident and worthy. Everyone is worthy of love and kindness just as you are kind to everyone else.
Please keep posting and don't disappear, you have all of us to talk to.September 20, 2016 at 12:28 pm #115726
Anita i'll still be here, just not FB. I'll miss not hanging out with her and texting her but I figure once I get my shit together and finally one day in the future when we meet up in person it will be an amazing day of seeing her again. The first day we went to the docs to tell him I was suicidal and was looking for anti depressants we first met up for coffee for an hour almost, then after the appointment drove to Dallas road for a walk to talk, then we went down to the beach and along the rocks and sat down next to eachother talking and listening to the ocean. She posted on her FB that it was a good day after I posted it was a great day but she was going to post that anyway, she NEVER posts messages but only shares things on her wall, so we had a pretty awesome day together. She even took my picture as we both connected that day and were in the moment so to speak.
Mommalicious I feel that way too just talking to people about my problems, I feel as if i'm just a whiner and who cares about my problems, more important things out there then my feelings. Glad it helped you though, i'll stick around aswell.September 20, 2016 at 3:33 pm #115734
Thank you for the condolescence, it's been hard but I am getting by. I see you yourself is struggling and would like to offer you the link to a supportline for people struggling with emotional difficulties or just need to vent. It is beneath. Good luck with everything. https://www.facebook.com/supportmeplease/?fref=tsinkSeptember 20, 2016 at 7:37 pm #115747
Good, hope you keep posting here again and again. It sounds like a beautiful day you spent with her. In response to the latter part of your last post: your feelings do matter and please do express them here.
You mentioned counseling- will it be your first? How will you be looking for a counselor/ therapist? I have information on how to evaluate a potential therapist before hiring him or her and what to expect from a competent therapist. Let me know if you need such input. (would like you to have a competent, empathetic, effective therapist, and not all therapists are such).
anitaSeptember 20, 2016 at 7:53 pm #115752
Thanks for the link Kim and your welcome!
I get free councelling through work anita, will try that out first. But if you want i'll still take a look at your info to try finding the best one. I hear they can take a while to find the perfect person. Wont be my first, but last one I pretty much gave no info to and gave up on it pretty fast just like her with me.September 21, 2016 at 12:11 pm #115836
Saw her today at work as she was doing some shoppping, we talked a little and gave eachother a huge hug. She was confused what I meant when I text her “was looking for 30 more for a reason”, then told her it was to overdose. She said it's very serious I talk to the doc when I see him next and tell him the truth what my plans were that day and to see if i can get to see a Psychiatrist and that she's very happy I told her this. So next time I see the doc i'll tell him the truth about that day. Just hope he does not freak out and get me put into some type of crazy hospital ward.September 21, 2016 at 8:52 pm #115849
Will be reading your latest posts and replying in 12 hours or so when I am back at the computer. Take care!
anitaSeptember 22, 2016 at 4:59 pm #115955
Thread has pretty much run its coarse. It was about that girl but decided to keep her around, but lied to her and I don't want to base our friendship around lies and deceit or it's a doomed friendship so I've decided to take a break from her out of respect and work on myself, then one day maybe near summer time get into contact with her again. In the meantime i'll go to councelling and take my anti depressants. Aswell as work on losing my weight…lost 35 pounds last month alone and finally reached under 200 for the first time since my early 20's. Also want to get into Boxing and Muay Thai, so hopefully when we meet up again i'll be a changed man. Also keep up donating to charity and helping people out as much as I can because I don't want to live this life for my selfish self and needs, but make people happy everywhere I go. We only got 1 life, so make an impact.September 22, 2016 at 8:58 pm #115968
You have a plan. Regarding counseling, choose a counselor who is competent, who will evaluate you thoroughly and come up with a written plan of how to help you. It needs to be someone empathetic who will put in the extra effort to help you. Someone who will talk to you, not be silent. It should not be a wing it kind of therapy- there should be an evaluation and a plan, objectives to be met and the ways to meet them.
Wishing you well-
anitaSeptember 22, 2016 at 10:00 pm #115975
Thanks, i'll have to keep those in mind when looking.September 23, 2016 at 8:13 am #115994
You are welcome, blkhwkdwn1. Post anytime- or not- always, your choice. Take good care of yourself, please.
anitaSeptember 23, 2016 at 5:53 pm #116073
Take care of yourself aswell. I'll definatly update this thread when I start speaking to her again. Speaking of her, she was at my work again, we hugged again. Untill then i'll try posting every now and then in other places.September 23, 2016 at 7:00 pm #116083
Good, blkhwkdwn1: I am looking forward to read your posts here and in other threads.