Dear Teddy:

I wish you never got bullied and I am sorry that you were. Because you were frequently bullied when you were younger and because you’ve suffered years of anxiety and depression in your personal life and in your work life, professional help reads like the way to go: it takes time and guided work to gradually undo years-long anxiety and depression.

“I’ve tried going to events/parties but it usually end up  sitting alone playing with whatever dog/cat/animal I see. I feel like I’m afraid to talk to people for fear of being bullied again“- you are not afraid of pets because they won’t bully you and you don’t interpret what they say and do as bullying. For you to comfortably interact with any particular person, it requires that you trust your ability to (1) evaluate a person correctly (2) respond wisely if and when bullied. While building such trust, you’ll need to plan a strategy in regard to interacting with strangers, let’s say in the setting of a party: you do X, wait for a response, then do Y or Z, depending on the response you get, etc.

“I would like to figure out how to socialize like a normal person…I feel like my coworkers/managers all dislike me…  It’s made it hard to hold a job because I tend to overthink the smallest details and end up quitting for what the normal person might consider stupid reasons“- you referred to yourself, or suggested that you are not normal twice in your short original post, and once, you mentioned the word stupid in regard to your behavior. That’s a bit of self-bullying, isn’t it?

anita