Dear Farnaz:

“I believe my mom and most likely yours too, were afraid that if we socialize with more successful people or people in general, we gonna abandon them“- my mother broke me because she was angry. It was her anger that motivated her. She didn’t have an individual plan, a strategy… she reacted to her anger. She didn’t feel that it was fair that she alone will be broken. She was envious of the non-broken me, so she made it fair.

“If I’m isolated, it is more likely to.. ignore their flaws and most likely to idolize them“- yes, I agree, although I think that they  thought of this: they acted and reacted instinctively, similar to how animals behave: observing them you can make sense of their behavior, you can see nature’s plan. But the animals are not aware of that plan. They act and react instinctively.

“That`s not a life sentence , is it?“- no: not for you, not for me,

“Did you have the same experience with people too..?“- I think that you are asking if I chose to surround myself with “losers”- no, I didn’t choose losers or winners. I didn’t choose much of anything. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I was alone most of the time, but sometimes I was chosen: not by good people, and not in ways that benefited me.

anita