dear Anita

I think that you think of your mother as a high hanging fruit (educated, hard-working & motivated, professionally & financially successful), maybe in the past when i just lost her , but now , not really . i told you about her achievements and in my mind there is a contrast about in her career and family life , and i believed she could control her profession much better , she was smart in that area and developed good skills during years , it was not hard to manage for her  but in her personal life , she was weak , didnt develop emotional and social skills to manage her emotions and was too closeminded to change ,i dont idolize her anymore actually im older than that i could idolize anyone , i actually i admire my dad more because he was living in reality and he didnt expect me to be perfect and he was generally more peaceful with his life , was he perfect or even close to it , no way .

i used low hanging fruits about people i chose to keep in my life . i couldn’t choose my family but my friends , i could do better

did you CHOOSE (above quote) to be with low hanging fruit: did you notice that a particular man, let’s say, is uneducated and professionally unsuccessful, and that awakened a motivation in you to reach out to him and you proceeded to try to get his attention , i actually choose people who were successful apparently but were living a sad, little  life, i found out later OR people who were obviously not relationship material and i thought i could change them . in one sentence i chose people because of their superficial traits and i was never considered there should be some depth in relationship , they should be able to be trustworthy , affectionate and have a positive aproach towards life , they also care only about the appearance

far