Dear Joanna:

You are very welcome. “My first thought – better to close this thread. However, it does not bother me writing here, but it is also okay for me to close it“- if you feel a significant preference to closing this thread, you are welcome to do so anytime.

Thank you for this post, Joanna. I appreciate the follow up to my post!

“showing me how offended you are when I said something harmless, you do this on purpose so that I look like a bad person, I do everything wrong, I am a bad person, is that what you are implying by doing this right now? Why are you so sensitive“-falsely claiming a lack of intent on her part to offend you… and accusing you of an intent to offend her, an intent you did not have.

“‘oh so now you won’t speak to me huh? Nice. I am the bad person, I am always the bad person. You are you always like that? Why are you so sensitive? I can’t even say anything to you anymore’ Then she would leave and not speak to me for couple days. After that she would make a dinner one day…”-  claiming that you won’t speak to her and choosing to not speak to you.  (After my mother’s rage attacks against me, she wouldn’t speak to me for a few days, she then cooked and eventually talked to me.. until the next rage attack and silent treatment).

“When we watched a movie and I wanted to explain ‘see, this is the actor that played in.. (some other movie she saw)’ she scolded me for explaining what she already knows, and that I imply she did not know that and therefore that she is stupid. When she used to look for something in her bag and I asked ‘what are you looking for there?‘ she used to yell at me “why are you so mean? can’t I just look for something? what is ALWAYS your problem?” – still after all these years when I sometimes saw her looking for something in her bag I suddenly had the weird feeling in my stomach”-

-she heard her own voices telling her that she is bad, or stupid, or criticizing her otherwise (she heard her inner-critic, as it’s called) but she believed- in her paranoid delusion- that you were thinking her thoughts. I suppose we all think or suspect that other people are thinking this or that.. but we are not sure. The paranoid are sure, and they insist that they are right and they argue against and punish you for.. thoughts you don’t have.

“It is interesting how you wrote it is quite rare for you to see so many similarities, please correct me if I do not understand it correctly, that after all those stories here on this forum, there are not very much stories where someone’s mother’s personality/behavior is so similar to your mother’s. Do I understand it correctly?“- in seven years and six months of daily participation on these forums, I came across one member with a severely BPD mother (norit is her screen name) and one member with a combination of BPD and PPD, and that is you.

“Your mother treated you pretty horribly. My mother treated me pretty horribly. They have a lot of behaviors in common: narcissistic, paranoid personality disorder, borderline too. Is it rare to have that particular behaviors all together?“- as rare as one in thousands over the years.

“Why did she choose me? Why did she do all those things to ruin me? Is she ever sorry? I don’t think she ever thinks of this like that“- I want to respond to this and to more of what you shared Wed morning (it is Tues afternoon now).

Again, Joanna, thank you for writing back to me.

anita