Dear Farnaz:

“no, no, no, I admit that was disturbing for me, but I’m sorry for you because you were on the receiving end. She is the one to shame“- thank you. But please don’t take my thinking (that maybe you will not want to communicate with me anymore) personally: I didn’t think that because I think less of you, or because I think that you are not dependable, or anything like that. I thought what I thought simply because lots of people- in the forums-  disappear when a conversation becomes stressful.

“I felt like he meant you don’t need any man , and no men would do stuff I do for you, disgusting“- covert incest is indeed disgusting. A father has to be only a father to his daughter. Competing with men in the romantic context of his daughter’s adult life is violating his role as a father. Same in regard to my mother: she violated her role as my mother many times.

“He was a master in mind f***“- reading this instantly made me think of my mother.

“sorry if I cursed in this post“- not a problem as long as you don’t spell out the whole word. Typing f*** is .. fine and dandy.

“his wife.. is a 12 year old in the body of a sixty something woman… my dad… played her insecurities“- you grew up with disturbed children in adult bodies. Seems to me that you are now more of an adult than any of the children-in-adult-bodies with whom you grew up.

anita