Dear ManagoFandango:

You are very welcome. More of my comments and suggestions based on your recent post:

“I feel so uneasy when I’m around her knowing that I don’t like her“- it is okay to dislike a person who displays bad behaviors, so try to be at ease with not liking her.

“The only thing I can do is spend less time with her“- good thing.

“but encourage my boyfriend do spend time with her alone if he wants to“- I wouldn’t encourage him to spend time with her alone, but I wouldn’t stand in his way either.

“I just hope that when we have children my boyfriend won’t insist about leaving the kids alone with his mother“- if you consider having children with him, you’d need to insist (and he’d need to agree) that the children will never be left alone with his mother (unless she’s been sober for some time and is engaged in a healing or recovery program such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). It shouldn’t be a negotiable item.

“I found  that when I bring his mother’s behaviour up my boyfriend defends her…. but there are times when he by himself says that she says hurtful things, drinks a lot, is always late…“- I wouldn’t criticize his mother to him, if I was you, but I would quietly and empathetically listen when he himself criticizes her (without  adding my own criticism of her).

Post again if and whenever you would like to: I’ll be glad to read from you and reply again.

anita