Hi Tee,

Merry Christmas.

Sorry for my very late reply but haven’t been able to catch my breath yet.

Yeah my mom said you know her, she just need someone to take her anger out on and I remember thinking that’s not okay. That’s not how you treat people. So still a lot of excusses unfortunatly. At least it’s getting better.

Your right she does have a lot of narcissistic tendencies. And it’s hard because there’s good days too and then you kinda forget about the bad days, your just hoping that you can get back to the good times. But she has hurt me so much, and there’s a lot of grief in that, expecially not having anyone to defend you only myself. Reading back the last couple of posts I realised that me reacting soo strongly to not being invited (and still does hurt) to the guys birthday makes sense. My sister has excluded me several times and it got triggered because they were my primary group of friends and I was the odd man out. I remember that during the pandemic her and her boyfriend would drive the two hours to my parents (where I was living at home, after losing my job and everything) and say hi to us and then go for lunch at a girls house that I am no longer friends with because of my sister telling lies about me. Being exluded by the two of the closests people in my life (only had two friends and my sister back home) and for them to become best friends because of my sisters lies about me is so hurtful I can’t explain it. And seing my sister open a present from her on Christmas eve did hurt, but I maneged to not get too emotional.

It’s been getting better my dad even took my side when she got angry about the christening, but it’s obviously doesn’t erase what happened.

Christmas Eve went way better than I thought. My sister behaved very well (probably because we were talking about her and the baby most of the time) any time something about me came up she didn’t react she just changed the subject. But still way better than being under attack. Her boyfriend even looked me in the eye and hugged me goodbye, that’s a first!

Things have been going well the past week.

The cute guy have been smalltalking with me and I didn’t get too anxious which is good. I have been going out with my collegues and asked them to do stuff with me and not only did they say yes, but also came up and said that we need to find a date. That means a lot to me, I am used to be the one asking and then asking again to make it happen, so now I know that they really do want to spend time with me, and it’s a lot of different groups of people so that makes me very happy!