So, I don’t use the gum as intended. I actually skipped smoking and went straight for the gum. It’s a dopamine/pleasure thing. Instead of eating or drinking to feel good, I chew gum and drink some coffee. Anyways, mindfulness helps, but the meditations only last an hour or so max. I eat more flavorful and healthy food when I’m on my diet/lifestyle change, but my appetite is excessive. anything that creates pleasure, acts as a substitute for eating more than I need to.

So, between periods of meditation, when I eat, I need to eat just enough to not be hungry, but not so much as to be full. The problem is my stomach is larger since I became obese, so my appetite’s larger. Cannabis, nicotine, alcohol, etc. give enough satisfaction between meals I don’t need to go back and eat more when I’m not physically hungry.

I have a vaporizer, but I lost it, so in the meantime I’ve been chewing nicotine gum. Nicotine on it’s own is fairly low in harm without the other things found in tobacco smoke. I also have adhd, which results in lower dopamine and a frequent search for pleasure.

Meditation works while I’m doing it, and helps in between, but I need some way to bridge the gap because I crave food or drink, etc. when I’m done meditating. If I really want to drop weight, I have to find other ways to produce enough dopamine.

I can do this with coffee/caffeine, spicy foods, my adhd medication, dark chocolate, nicotine, cannabis, alcohol, strong cheeses, bright light/sunshine, exercise, video games, social interaction, dhamma talks, psychology lectures, petting my cat, working on hobbies, burning incense, sexual experiences, hot baths, self-massage, stretching, journaling, etc.

It’s just been hard to balance these things without over relying on one or the other. And i tend to feel guilty by successfully losing weight using substances. Especially if I going to do a fundraiser for the surgery in the end, I want my methods of weight loss to be something most people can do too.