Dear anita,

I hope that indeed you do not expect her to pretend to always feel the same. About her not asking you questions and not telling you what kind of food she wants to eat, letting you decide: she doesn’t like to initiate/ to lead. But like you said yourself: better look at the bigger picture. In the bigger picture you like much of who she is, including that she does not seek attention.

No one can find a perfect partner, there is no such thing… so, in regard to this gem of a girl, look at the bigger picture and focus on what you do like about her.

= I’m just hoping that it wont be a sign that she is slowly losing interest…. Cause in relationships, after the honeymoon period (1-3 months) ends everything will become more boring right, and soon problems will arise…

In my experience communicating with you, I was never bored with you, but I did get frustrated from reading about the same itches/ worries over and over.. and over again for 3.5 years. It feels crazy-making at times. So, if I was you, I’d do my best to not frustrate this gem of a girl (let’s call her Gem, to make it simple, okay?) by presenting her with your itches, wanting her to scratch them/ to reassure you.

= i also hope that is the case with her, that she wont get bored of me….

It feels so hard to maintain a relationship, if we texts too frequently she might get bored, whereas if we dont show attention it could cause problems…. As the more and more we continue the relationship, there isnt much topic to discuss and it gets boring very easily….

Also i believe in relationship we cant have too much expectations, because it could lead to disappointments (mostly i felt this way) and it hurts a lot….

I thought to myself earlier today before turning on the computer (or maybe it was yesterday): I imagine that people who know how Eric lives (not working hard, not working physically hard, living at home, being physically taken care of), they probably think that his life is easy and comfortable; they don’t know how not-at-all-easy and how very painful it is to worry and overthink and feel badly as much and as often as Eric feels.

= it’s really painful, sometimes i could wake up due to overthinking and cant continue to sleep as i still feel anxious….
tbh these past few days it has been that way, but im trying to calm myself with several ways…