Dear anita,

I can see/ feel your pure heart: you are a good, loving young person, and it is a great shame that, like you wrote, you’ve been suffering for so long and rarely felt loved.

= If i really care about someone, i’ll genuinely love them, but sometime that’s not the case…. Just like how i love my previous crush, my genuine love doesnt reciprocate….

I also feel that i need to learn how to lower my expectations… because if i care about someone i’ll have certain expectations on their behaviours towards me….

You deserve to be loved, but when living so long without feeling loved, it is difficult to accept love, even when it’s there (Gem’s love). It is difficult to believe that it’s really there and more so, that it’s going to stay!

= I really hope that gem’s love is really a loving love towards me… and she intends to stay with me….

Yes, its very hard for me to accept love, like it’s hard for me to trust if that certain someone genuinely loves me, because i rarely felt that…. The most common thing that i felt are loneliness, overthinking and insecurity….

Sometimes i feel envy seeing my friends who are surrounded by loving family, like they’d less likely to suffer from loneliness….

But i guess it’s also due to that im still young, i have matured yet…, there’s a lot for me to learn….