Dear Katrine,

Oh I see – so your former colleague wasn’t really a flirty type, he just called every woman baby because of his culture (perhaps he was Italian? 🙂 ). He was telling everybody in the office about you, but he never made a move. He called you princess, but he never asked you out on a date, although he was telling to your guy coworkers that he would…

Do you think it’s possible that he chickened out because you were a bit closed off and guarded?

I am asking because you say that you are very careful not to fall for someone too easily:

I usually spend 6 months analysizing everything to keep me from getting hurt, before I take a step forward. I need a lot of reassurance before I start believing that someone likes me

It takes a hella lot for me to attach myself to someone

I become very avoident to the people i am atracted to… I know now that it’s not social anxiety but a fear of vulnerbility that triggers my anxiety, and a fear of rejection. I’m fine until it gets to close.

So maybe you acted a bit cold/guarded with him, and it discouraged him from making a move?

Based on what you said, it seems that in general, you’re very guarded around the guys you like and even pretend that you don’t like them (I become very avoident to the people i am atracted to). And this pretending can last for quite a long time, maybe even months (you said it takes around 6 months till you’re sure that the guy likes you).

If so, perhaps you’re sending the wrong message to the guy you like, and by the time you’re sure he likes you, he sort of loses interest?

This is just a speculation, Katrine. I am trying to understand why it so happens that a guy seems to like you, but doesn’t make a move….