Hi Anita, thank you so much for breaking it down as you did. I appreciate and understand how you broke down your perspective on my paranoia and my interrogating questions, what you said i agree with. I do not believe myself to be morally superior to him, I just would’ve hoped he had the same respect I had for him when put into a situation where a mutual friend is involved. I understand he was drunk and trust that it lowered his inhibitions and he made the wrong decision to sleep with her. I just still feel very hurt by it. I have done a lot of thinking and believe he is telling the truth and it did happen before we started talking and dating again. I am working through my insecurity now that he chose her, even if we weren’t together, and that he chose to not tell me. I have done work in therapy to over come what I have been through in my past. Helcat; thank you for responding. That’s a good question “What would actually help you rebuild trust and recover from this?”. I think I thought that if I talked to him more and asked more questions it would help me be more at ease. I realize how being interrogated could cause someone to shut down, which is why he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.  But I think I just need to keep focusing on the fact that it was a mistake, my insecurities feel high.. I believe I am hurt by the action itself (causing insecurity) and the lie as well. I think moving forward I have to focus on the insecurity of it happening and realize that I can trust that he is telling the truth even though he felt it would’ve been better to hide it initially.