Dear helcat,

Yes the downside was it was a little quiet, i hope she doesnt judge me a lot based on it… cause im afraid she might have some sort of expectations and that “quiet” doesnt meet it….

It’s not her sister’s boyfriend words that are rude, it’s the way he greet me when i said “im leaving the restaurant… see ya!” The way he responds is like talking to an insignificant human that he doesnt want to greet very well… i dont know its because he was focused with his guest there or he really regards me as insignificant…

So as you said people have different preferences in partner, well this girl and her sister has something in common… they like to post on social media… and my family cant provide that…. I cant guess what’s in her mind… i’m really trying to find ways so she can posted about my family on social media while i can feel happy too…. But its hard, as you can see in the dinner the atmosphere is very quiet…. I bet her family gathering with her cousins arent that quiet….

As for the intensity of fear, it really isnt as scary as i thought i’d be…. But keep on focusing on her so she wont feel uncomfortable… i help her grab food on the table into her bowl.. and i keep asking her if she wants to add some drinks…. I also create a topic for my sister to talk with her so she will feel more comfortable, because i dont want her to feel uncomfortable and dont want to accept my invitation for dinner again…

I think the intensity of the fear is still 70%, as i keep on concentrating on her in that dinner…. I dont want to create mistakes…

I hope she doesnt ask her sister how is her sister’s usual dinner with her boyfriend’s family and comparing it with me…. I cant compare wit him, as i cant change my family…

I keep hoping and hoping that she wont judge too much of my family, as me myself are doing my best to make her comfortable…. And try my best to not make mistakes….