I would absolutely appreciate prayers.  I am so grateful to members here who have responded with so much caring, understanding and kindness.  I have been so hard on myself, wondering what I could have done to fix or prevent the situation.  I know in my own heart that I did not do anything to make them react as they did.  I apologize to Matilda for posting so much on her original post.  She is in my heart and thoughts, and I completely understand how she feels. One thing that has helped is listening to calming music (I think it helps my cats also) and reading. I bought several books, including a day-by-day inspiration and devotional journal written by Max Lucado. When my son killed himself last year, and all the other deaths, my two sweet rescue cats lost 4 lbs.  I know they were so aware of my agony that they didn’t eat enough.  Thankfully, they are doing better and have gained weight.   My therapist told me to take things one day at a time, and if that wasn’t possible, narrow it down to an hour or even five minutes. It’s hard to do.  When I am feeling the most despondent and depressed thinking about all that has happened in the past, I try to bring myself back to the present.  It’s all I have.  I can’t change the past and no one knows the future.  I still cry a lot and sometimes probably even feel a little sorry for myself, but my health is being affected by all of this and if I want to live, I have to find a way to get to a better place.  I pray Matilda will also.  Thank you all for your love and kindness. Please remember me in your prayers.