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Aliive but NOT Living

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  • May 14, 2022 at 8:14 am #400068
    Matilda
    Participant

    I’m so tired, I’m tired of doing nothing, having no purpose in my life!  I’m a woman in my 60’s.

    I grew up in a wonderful and close family. As my Mother got older and needed help, I oversaw

    her needs, her stay in the nursing home, doctor’s appts., etc. I got the immediate family together

    at Christmas to visit with her and celebrate the holidays, and take her presents. After she dies,

    things have changed for me. Covid came about a year after that which isolated all of us for a couple

    of years. I have no husband or children. Both my Siblings have become more distant. It’s very sad

    to me.

     

    I have no close friends locally. I stopped working when my Mother started to decline up until her

    death. I did not go back to work due to Covid. I have been home this whole time. Now, I pretty much

    watch TV, surf the internet, and lie down take naps every afternoon. I have no motivation, can’t talk

    myself into exercising or doing any special projects around my home, etc. I’ve tried signing up for

    some social groups in town, but to this day have not gone to any events. I don’t feel comfortable

    making myself go. I’ve gone to some in the past and just didn’t seem to connect with anyone. I felt

    like a round peg in a square hole. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t stand my life as it is. I

    am sooooo sick of being alone, having no one that cares enough to check up on me regularly, etc.

    May 14, 2022 at 11:17 am #400181
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear Matilda

    I hear your pain, frustration & loneliness.  You have dedicated much of your life to looking after others & somewhere along the way you lost yourself.

    What were your dreams? Where did you used to find joy before you became a full time carer?

    Are there any volunteering opportunities where you live?

    I get an email each day from the Daily Good. It has a quote which if it strikes a cord I like to copy it out neatly, sometimes I write them on a stone and leave them in a public place. it has an article to read and also a suggestion for something to do.  It gave me something to look forward to each day when I was sad & directionless.

    If you go for a walk and see some one your age smile & say hello they too maybe would like to have a friend.

    Best wishes

    Roberta

    May 14, 2022 at 3:14 pm #400244
    Helcat
    Participant

    Hi Matilda

    I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s passing and your difficulties with isolation due to covid.

    Would you like to talk about how you are coping or not coping with the grief of your mother’s passing? I can hear how much you loved her.

    It must be very difficult for you not having that close family support.

    I hope the following will comfort you, but feel free to disregard it. Your mom is a part of your memory, being with her shaped your personality. She is a part of you and you will never lose that.

    How do you think your mother would advise you on this situation?

    May 14, 2022 at 4:56 pm #400268
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Matilda:

    You wrote mother with a capital M, “my Mother“, and siblings with a capital S “my Siblings“-  your mother and your two siblings were a Major part of your life, and now that your mother is gone,  and your siblings having become more distant, you lost a major part of your life, didn’t you?

    “It’s very sad t me… I have no motivation, can’t talk myself into exercising or doing any special projects around my home, etc… I am soooooo sick of being alone, having no one that cares” – very lonely and depressed, reads to me.

    “didn’t seem to connect with anyone. I felt like a round peg in a square hole” -please connect here (in your thread) with me and/ or with other members. Please tell me more about your life now and before, anything you’d like to share.

    As to me, I shared so much about my life in these forums, it’s all on record here and you can read about me. I would like to read more about you.

    anita

     

    May 20, 2022 at 5:15 am #400743
    Roberta
    Participant

    Hi Matilda

    I hope that you have had a pleasant week and that your heart/head space is feeling a bit more up beat.

    I will be 60 this year and I looked after both my parents for 5 years. Mum died at the end of August last year & Dad had to go into full time care because of his dementia. I felt rudderless, not sure how to full embrace this next step of my journey especially since Covid restrictions mean that my go to place is still closed and having to work to help pay household and care fees means I can’t travel further affield or take an extended break especially since Dad still enjoys seeing me.

    Please reach out and let us know that you are ok

     

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