Dear Maisy:

First, I am sorry for your loss of your cousin and close friend a year ago.

Second, when I read about your two friends not being supportive of you in regard to your losses, I thought that maybe, like most people, they have difficulties dealing with the topic of death and therefore, they avoid the topic. But then, I read your quotes of the comments your male friend made to you:  “What do you have to be sad for? You have a boyfriend to actually love you. You have a house and we don’t. You make more money than us”, etc., and thought to myself: wow! That’s very self-centered and insensitive.

And then, when I read what you shared about your female friend: “The other friend is more self-centered“- I thought to myself: MORE self-centered? That has to be a lot of self-centeredness.

“I’m lucky to have my therapist, boyfriend, and family, but I could also really use my friends. I’m not sure what this post is supposed to accomplish. I don’t even think I’m looking for advice here. I just needed to get it off my chest because it bothers me sometimes “- I am glad that you do have supportive people in your life and I hope that you meet new friends who are not as self-centered as the two you vented about. And, you are welcome to vent and get things off your chest anytime, here on your thread

“and I guess I was hoping someone else can relate so we can talk about it here“- yes, I do relate to self-centered behavior: my own, in some respects, and other people’s. I want to take care of myself and be assertive when I need to be, and I want to be fair and kind to other people, both.

anita