It was love. The hope that things will/could change, etc. and of course the typical things like house, child,

As mentioned I was looking for answers, it was not correct that I was looking for answers externally, but there are reason of course.

Today I do not have that hope anymore, not really. Put aside all conflict and there is still this huge lack of affection, mutuality, connection, communication… Just to give some insight… our child never saw that she moved/stepped 5 steps towards me to hug, kiss, etc. me…