Dear Eriads

Your daughter was almost grown up when you started dating B ( you do not say how old your daughter was when the split with her father happened or whether her father has remarried etc) and now she is legally an adult. She is lucky to have an on going relationship with her father.

You can’t force people to feel more for each other and some relationships take longer to  flourish. As long as you do not accept the current situation you are putting pressure on you, your daughter and your husband, which will hinder  a making of  healthy relationships.  At the moment politeness and understanding should be the starting point for all concerned. It must have taken a lot of bravery for your husband to show his vulnerability to you. Maybe your husband’s original expectations of a”happy family” were not met and he is now resigned to the reality of this family life. I guess within the next few years your daughter will fly the nest and so it is important that you & your husband stay well connected to each as you are going to need his emotional support when your daughter puts down roots elsewhere.

I wish you all the best

Roberta