Dear John,

I wish you success with this attempt. I totally understand when you say you wanted to leave all these years, but something was stopping you:

Outwardly it appears that I have chosen to stay put for all these years. Having tried to understand my situation I have concluded that I had little choice, which sounds like a very poor excuse. It seems to me that there has been competing forces within me such that my rational self is not in control and the subconscious, irrational, side of me has prevented me from pursuing happiness.

Our subconscious side is super strong. According to researchers, it accounts for 95% of our consciousness. The way out of “bondage” is to become aware of our subconscious side and understand what it wants and why it fears. I think this would help you lessen those fears and sort of break the “spell” the subconscious has on you.