Dear Anna,

no, I did spend some time with him in person before deciding to move to his country. I guess he was showing me his good side and mirroring me, what toxic people do..Plus, I did ignore a few red flags.

Oh right.. if he was a narcissist, he might have been love bombing you. Or simply telling you what you wanted to hear. It’s good you’re aware of those red flags now…

I hope soon I’ll be strong enough to cut contact with him altogether..

Yes, if he is a toxic person, I guess keeping contact with him isn’t really helping, unless you have to be in touch for practical/logistical reasons.

It’s just I’m even more lost now because I feel I’m losing two of my friends, one of them someone who I considered my best friend.

Do you feel it’s because you have changed, or perhaps it’s them? I am asking because you said your best friend is going through a hard time as well, so perhaps that’s why she isn’t able to support you the way you’d want to? You said she used to be your safe haven – could it be that her personal struggles make her less able to be that stable point in your life?

I hope to get a job at least soon, so that I could travel and afford a therapy.

I wish you success in landing a job. If I may suggest something: you said you don’t know what career path to choose and that you have brain fog. My advice is to not be too picky with jobs at this point, since you need the money. Once you get a job and get things going and start the positive spiral again, the brain fog will clear and you’ll be able to decide what career path to take, where to live etc.

But at this point, I’d say don’t put so much pressure on yourself to make the perfect decision. Just take something, even if it’s not the job of your dreams, and get the ball rolling. Once you get up on you feet, you can switch to something more appealing and long-term.

What do you say?