Hi Karl

I agree with Roberta.

You entered into this poly relationship. Now do you expect her to not be poly? Because if you haven’t discussed this, it’s an unrealistic expectation.

Did she promise not to get romantically involved with her ex again?

The issue is that you aren’t communicating your actual wishes. Instead you are blaming other issues. It doesn’t come across very well if you’re not direct about addressing problems.

It sounds like you care about her. But a monogamous relationship might not be what she wants. You will have to ask her. If the relationship ends because she doesn’t want a monogamous relationship that is okay. At least you will have been honest and things can end in a healthier, kinder way.

There is always the chance she might be okay with a monogamous relationship. But you will have to control your anxiety and be direct communicating issues instead of expressing your anxiety indirectly in the future which isn’t very healthy. Again, you are going to have to clearly communicate with her about this. It will show that you are willing to work on anxiety and communication.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏