<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Shadee,</p>
I can see your emotional maturity shine through. Asking for help is a true sign of a desire to grow. I’ve always found the way forward in a tricky relationship situation is through talking. Why not share all of this with your girlfriend? In fact just send her the letter just as you posted it here. It’s clear you want to be able to move forward and let this go but are struggling on how. Maybe by talking to her you can begin to see a new perspective and hear her response to your letter. She is lucky to have someone so caring and willing to be vulnerable and wanting to grow.

There is a Buddhist story of 2 monks who came upon a woman crying because she could not cross a river so one monk picked her up and carried her across. He set her down and the 2 monks continued on their journey until the other monk stopped and said ‘I just don’t understand, how could you have done that, we are not supposed to touch women.’ The first monk turned to him and said ‘I put her down on the other side of the river but you are still carrying her.’

Sometimes we move forward when we can put the baggage down and let go. I hope this helps.