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Reply To: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships

HomeForumsRelationshipsTelling the difference between gut and fear in relationshipsReply To: Telling the difference between gut and fear in relationships

#423522
seaturtle
Participant

Dear Helcat,

“I thought that it was really interesting to learn that deeper issues were happening than what was initially presented. It was actually a bit surprising to learn that so much trauma was hidden behind that first message.”

I appreciate you bringing this up because I did consider many variables that affected her response, and I would certainly not label her as a bully. I realized how my message could appear superficial and whinny on the surface, I think I was more venting than actually communicating well. I suppose I was hoping someone who read it would see through those things and somehow sense the deeper issues, but that may have been unreasonable of me to hope for. It just so happened that I am triggered by feeling unseen, and unfortunately her response did make me feel that way. Calling her a bully for that is an exaggeration, but labeling the response as bullying did help me to see the commonality between that response and quite literal bullying in high school that I experienced. I hope this makes sense, labeling it as bullying was a helpful way for me to highlight the scenario, but I do not believe that is who that participant is or what would have been said if I communicated my struggles better.