Dear Teo Desin

I get how distressing seeing pain & suffering is and in a hospital situation it is intensified and the long hours of those kinds of occupations takes its toll on the health providers ( I have worked for over 20 years in old age care). So research could possibly suit you better, you would still be helping humanity.

I guess the tricks are to understand what your core purpose is. How do you want to live your life? Get to know your strengths & weaknesses so that you know where & when to push yourself and when to take a step back ie front line doctoring versus research.  Learning how to stay with our core values and to be open to do it in small & different ways and not just the big one off gestures. When we learn about ourselves and learn to nurture ourselves we will have the strength, wisdom & compassion to  help our fellow travelers on this journey of our lives.

I love this quote from Shantideva it broadens the spectrum of what helping sentient beings looks like.

May I be a protector to those without protection,
A leader for those who journey,
And a boat, a bridge, a passage
For those desiring the further shore.

May the pain of every living creature
Be completely cleared away.
May I be the doctor and the medicine
And may I be the nurse
For all sick beings in the world
Until everyone is healed.

Just like space
And the great elements such as earth,
May I always support the life
Of all the boundless creatures.

And until they pass away from pain
May I also be the source of life
For all the realms of varied beings
That reach unto the ends of space.