How to compassionately deal with a toxic mother? I am sorry you have had so much trouble with dealing with your mother. Her motives must have been to control you and stop you from become someone she would not like you to be. She pays for your rent? And you will only talk to her thru emails. She has approach dementia and you won’t talk with her. If you were to lose your memories, essentially yourself as you know it, wouldn’t you wish to have friends and family around?

So, compassion and wisdom is only applied to those we wish to apply it to? And some even wish that karma will take care of those if they are truly in the wrong? Of course no one ever makes mistakes??? Those who are without sin may cast the first stone. Mary, mother of Jesus, tried and convicted by her peers of the sins, stood there waiting for compassion. Wisdom stood in its stead.

I do not say mothers are innocent or the relationship is not toxic. But, my compassion says to not assign blame. The person across from you is on her script. She is playing her role as it was laid out to her. Wisdom lets you see the truth and act compassionately. To go beyond hurt feelings and mental scars. This is not an easy thing to do.