Hi Anita,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. To answer your question, I do feel your reply reads true as much as I wish it didn’t.

Before, my mistakes and patterns only affected me in the end. Now, they affect my daughter deeply as well. I feel I have caused her so much pain, inevitably. I feel very conflicted, in that a part of me feels like I should have been able to shoulder the shortcomings of B, in order to maintain him in her life. Another part feels like it would have been worse for her in the long run as he was an interested parent whenever she was inconvenient/difficult for him.

Is it your opinion Anita that this separation with B has to do with my patterns rather than true/valid reasons to end the relationship? Do you feel if I had properly head from my childhood it could have ended differently?

L