Dear Priyan:

How are you? I hope to read from you again.

* To Livia:

You shared that back in Oct 2022, you met a guy for the first time on a plane flying on vacation to Miami. You didn’t see him again in-person during that vacation. Being that the two live very far from each other, you chatted via calls, texts and WhatsApp for a whole year. You met him in-person for the 2nd time a year later (Oct 2023) on another vacation, and the two of you had sex for the first time. During your vacation, he called you every day, dropped you off at a mall, took you out to dinner and showed you around town. When your vacation was over, you texted him that you arrived home safely and you continued to chat.

He is a divorced man, a father of a teenage girl and he seems to care about being a good father to his daughter (“he did not want to slip up as a father“). He has never made a commitment to you and neither have you made a commitment to him (“we never made any commitments to each other“). It seems to me that you wanted him to make a commitment to you because after he told you that he needs to not slip up as a father, you told him: “I understand & I can wait“, wait for a commitment from him, as I understand it.

Less than 2 months ago, he blocked you. You shared:  “I’m still hurting and still trying to understand why…  I know I am blocked. I tried to call him but he declined. I am confused, I feel foolish and hurt and I need clarity…. I felt safe in his arms. He was great. Please help me understand what went wrong here“-

– I am guessing that what happened is that you wanted a commitment from him, a commitment that he wasn’t ready for. You perhaps pressured him to commit to you (perhaps by “throwing a tantrum” or two..?), and he reacted by blocking you. Is that what happened?

I am sorry, Livia, that you are going through a heartbreak and I hope that you will feel better soon!

anita