Dear Seaturtle:

I will reply further in the morning, but for now: no need for you to break up with him or confront him tonight. You can just have a nice evening if it suits you. I want you to be okay, whatever it takes.

I wouldn’t say anything to him about gaslighting. How about asking him to elaborate on what he meant when he told you “are you bothered??? I’m not” 10 minutes after arguing, as in an open ended question, not accusing him of anything (you are more likely to get some of the truth this way, if not all).Try to remember his answer and let me know what it is..?

I know that you are emotionally and physically very attached to him, so this is not the time to initiate a detachment/ break from him. I hope to read from you in the morning, about how it went, or before. I will be back to the computer in a couple of hours.

anita