Hi Anita,

Thank you for checking in on me. I am hanging in there. A few things happened the last week. We stay an hour apart from each other. She used to live close to me, but since her job became fully remote, she moved away. Her office had organized a holiday get together/potluck last week and she also had her doctor’s appointment the following day. As her work place and her doctor’s office are close to where I live she asked me if she could visit and stay with me the entire week. That got me really excited as she also said she wanted to spend some time with me, so, naturally I agreed.

To say we had a blast would be an understatement. We spent the time together cooking her dish for potluck, watching movies, going out and obviously having a lot of fun in the bedroom. This time I showed my affection and love for her more than usual when she was with me. We hugged, kissed and cuddled more often than usual. I should also tell you that while I was the one who initiated the hugs and cuddles, she never resisted and participated with the same enthusiasm. But she also made sure to keep reminding me that I am nothing more than a good friend with benefits. I even took her to her doctor’s appointment and when was diagnosed to be clinically depressed, I helped her look up therapists in her area.

When it was time for her to leave we hugged and kissed and agreed we were going to miss each other. She called me on her drive back home and we were on the phone her entire drive.

The confusion started the day after she departed. She didn’t call me the entire day and responded to my texts late. When she did call me late evening, she said that she has been busy and that she is trying to stay away from her phone as it was giving her headaches. I took what she said at face value and didn’t think too much. when the same thing happened the next day, I knew something was off. So that evening when she called, I asked her point blank if she was avoiding me. She replied that she has a lot going on for her (didn’t say what) and that she needs her space. She also said she wants to rethink the relationship she has with me and that she wants to cut back on how much time we spend talking/spending with each other as she is scared that might hurt both of us if/when we decide to date other people.

So in essence, she went from someone who used to send me romantic texts and video call everyday to someone who used to call every day and text me throughout the day to someone who wants to take a break from me now. All this while we were having sex and she knowing that I have feelings for her.

From the way she is behaving I cannot say if she has any feelings for me or is she just scared of commitment and is trying to run away from her emotions.

I am confused, hurt and feel ignored and used.